One year ago...

One year ago today sucked. That's not a favorite word of my mom's, but that's the only way I can explain it. On October 23, 2007, we had to say goodbye to our Abigayle. I will never forget the image of her sitting in the front seat of Jason's Jeep--the last time I saw our baby girl. She seemed to be comforting me more than I was comforting her. She covered my face with kisses and tried to tell me it would okay. I knew it was for the best, but that doesn't always make your heart feel better. As I said in my post from yesterday, Landon had to take care of me then and tell me we would all miss her. You would have never thought a four year old boy could take care of his Mommy like he did a year ago. I thought I would be really sad today, but oddly enough, only the good memories keep coming in my head. The other day I washed our sheets and put them in a pile on our bed after taking them out of the dryer. I expected to see this little dog jump up and bury herself in the warmth like she used to every time she could. I didn't cry at the memory--I smiled. So, today, I'm remembering the good things, the things that make me smile, the things that remind me that she was a good dog to us:

• The first time I saw her and wondered if it was a good idea to go out with a guy with a small dog. Little did I know she would win my heart (as would her dad). It took no time for me to start spoiling her rotten.
• The way she would sit on my lap in the car when we went somewhere.
  
• The special bond she had with Jason that no one could break. That dog loved him so much.
  
• The night she had her puppies. They were living in Greenville, and I had come up from Atlanta. I knew something was going on because when I walked into the apartment, she didn't greet me. I went back to the bathroom and there she was with Jason--already two pups out of her. I was there when she had the last two, and amazement is the only way I can describe what I felt. She looked at me while delivering and I did the best I could to comfort her. Only 2 of the dogs made it, and Abby was an incredible mother to them. Abby gave us our second dog, Lindsey, and I'll be forever grateful to her for that.
  
• Her catching the waves when we'd take her to the beach. She loved the beach, and I like to think that's where she's spending her time now.
  
• The great relationship she had with Lindsey. They just liked each other and became the best of friends. I loved them together. I hope they are together now.
  
• The way she barked and barked at the top of the driveway when Lindsey was hit and killed by a truck in front of our house. It was her way of saying things just weren't right. She took care of me that night.
  
• Her sitting by Landon when he joined our family. She left him alone but liked to be nearby.
  
• How excited she would get when we pulled into my parents' neighborhood. Their house was definitely a second home to her. My dad was known for slipping a scrap or two her way (which we didn't do much of), and she loved going there and staying with them.
• The last night she was with us and giving her beef jerky.
  

I miss her cuddling up next to me and laying by our legs under the covers at night. I miss her companionship that she gave me and her easy acceptance of me in her life. We all know that she wasn't the nicest dog to everyone, but she was good to us. I hope I gave her as much as she gave me. Earlier this week, a friend's dog of 14 years died. I cried and cried for him and that dog. Halfway through my tears, I realized I was also crying for Abby, Lindsey, and me. I knew the pain he was feeling. Dogs touch our lives in a way that no one else can. Unfortunately, we have to tell them goodbye often. However, for me, the unconditional love they give is worth it.

So, my Abigayle, I hope you know you're missed daily and still have a special place in our hearts. We were lucky enough to have you so many years. Thanks!