A Wise Woman's Words

Today I heard very wise words from a dead woman.

No, I do not talk to dead people (although I think that would be very cool if I could). Jason and I attended a funeral for a friend's mother. She lost her battle with cancer at age 75. I'd met her once last summer when we stayed with John at his family's lake house. She came to celebrate the Fourth of July with us, and I knew I liked her even though my time with her was brief. Today I realized that I wish I would have known her better. Although many friends stood and confirmed that she was a special woman, one letter alone told me that she was a wise woman. Her sister gave a eulogy that included a letter that Mrs. Warwick (the woman whose life we were celebrating) had written over 35 years ago. The letter was offering advice to a sister who had just become a mother for the first time. I cried when she read this. It hit home to this mother who has three young children. It meant a lot to this mother who struggles with the feelings of motherhood on almost a daily basis. It made this mother a little stronger to get through these tough first years. I would love a copy of that letter but felt it would be a little disrespectful to ask the woman who had just lost her sister to take that piece of paper to the copy machine for me. :) So, I will do my best in paraphasing what I heard today.

• Your kids may not be the first to do something, may not be the best in school, may not be just what you wanted, but celebrate what they are good at.
• Your child may be the first, may be the best, may be all you dreamed of. Don't let your head swell.
• No matter what you do as a mother, you will feel guilty. Push that aside and press on. PUSH THAT ASIDE AND PRESS ON. *This is something I struggle with often. I feel as if I'm never good enough for my kids and am sure I am scarring them for life. When I heard this today, I felt like she was talking directly to me. I will learn to push that guilt aside and press on.*
• Everything you do will not be the right thing, but you are doing your best. Don't beat yourself up and enjoy this time. It goes too fast. *Another thing I struggle with.*

There was so much more to the letter, but my memory escapes me now. The sweetness (but truthfulness) of an older sister's words to her younger sister was amazing. It struck me that the words of a mother 35 years ago still apply today--just as they did 100 years ago, 50 years ago, 10 years ago, one year ago. No one can prepare you for the feelings and emotions you will feel as a mother, but sometimes, a wise woman's advice can get you through those times when you aren't sure that you will make it. Her written letter reminded me that I'm not alone in this journey.

I will leave you with a story that they told me after the funeral that again confirmed I missed out on knowing a special person.

Someone had come up to Mrs. Warwick at her place of work and brought up the fact that she must be so proud of herself because both of her sons have been on the dean's list several times. She said to them "I can't take credit for their accomplishments, and I won't take the blame when they mess up".

Rest in peace, Mrs. Warwick. Thank you for making this mom feel more comfortable in her role.

Favorite lines of the day

Landon: Hey Dad--there are your favorite words.
Dad: What?
Landon: Bud Light (while pointing to a neon beer sign)


Pops (Jason's grandfather): A lady called and asked me on a date.
Jason: Oh yeah?
Pops: Yeah-it's hard being an 81 year old sex symbol.
Jason (chuckling): What's she look like?
Pops: She looks like a pest to me.

Noah: Hey Dad--you wanna see my rainbow pee?
Dad: Uh-no thanks.

Mom: Noah, I think we may go see Grandma and Papa tomorrow.
Noah: Ka-chow!

Today was a good day! :)

Max

Yes, we're crazy. Maybe I should say yes, I'm crazy. I'm the one who wanted him, and I think Jason couldn't say no when I started crying repeating over and over "I know it's not the smartest thing for me to do, but I want him. I just want him. He's supposed to be ours". So, I added to my already insane world, and I'm not sorry about it at all. Max has been with us for a week now, and he's getting more and more comfortable with each passing day. Yesterday I realized that this was truly his home by his actions. We had been gone most of the day with little Max in tow. He had a busy day, meeting his cousin dog, Hunter, being loved on by Aunt Sally and the others, and long car rides throughout the day. He was pooped. But when we got home, he lit up. You could tell the level of comfort that took over as he realized he was home. It made me feel good. Max was home.

The first week went well. I was up with him more than I was with my newborn babies, but that is passing. He has slept through the past two nights. Luckily the pup LOVES his crate. He took to it immediately, and it saves us a lot. I can put him in there, close the door, and take a break from watching his every move. In typical Lab fashion (he's a pure chocolate Labrador Retriever), he likes to chew. So, we have lots of toys to distract him from that yummy rug and that delicious child's toy. We're pretty sure he's going to be a big boy. Those paws keep getting bigger and the vet said "yeah, he's going to be a big one". Kasey is doing well with him, and each day they play a little bit more with one another. Like all little brothers, he eventually wears on her, but overall, she's done much better than I expected.

So this week I'm going to start working on training him (besides just potty training, of course). He may still be a bit young (he's 7 1/2 weeks), but I want him to learn the basics as soon as possible. I'm glad we have him, and I'm a.o.k with him making my life a little bit crazier than it was before. Welcome home, Max!